The Dirty Dozen: Common Actions that Assholes Use

So I've been reading this new book The No Asshole Rule by Dr. Robert I. Sutton. I've not finished the book, but I am looking forward to learning how to create a working environment that is "free from assholes".

Sutton lists what he calls The Dirty Dozen

1. Personal insults
2. Invading one's "personal territory"
3. Uninvited physical contact
4. Threats and intimidation
5. "Sarcastic jokes" and "teasing"
6. Withering email flames
7. Status slaps intended to humiliate
8. Public shaming or "status degradation" rituals
9. Rude interruptions
10. Two-faced attacks
11. Dirty looks
12. Treating people as if they are invisible

I'm sure we've all seen this type of behavior in the workplace (or at school). In my opinion, much of this passive-aggressive behavior in the workforce is caused by the idea of "professionalism". OK, lets stop for a second... I'm not trying to say that people should not act in a professional manner... if we drop all aspects of decency and professionalism... we'll end up with an animal house (though that would get me to another great book Monkey Business, but thats a different story).

So I had a project manager who once gave me a piece of advice that "In this business perception is the reality". He explained that it almost didn't matter how hard you were working or how good of a job you were really doing... it mattered if the people who mattered (the ones in charge) perceived you as working hard and doing a good job. Time and again I have found this to be true.

First thing... he is one of the nicest people I've met through work so far. Sometimes a little too much of a pushover though. So taken in that context, I would see his advice not as much as coming from a person who was trying to game the system by sucking up to the big bosses, but more so from someone who probably got burned along the way because he spent too much time working hard and not enough time tooting his own horn.

Assholes are the complete opposite. They spend so much effort in playing passive-aggressive games to put others down (and an equal amount of effort in making themselves look good to the big bosses), but much less time actually solving problems and doing their "work". The problem is... the culture of most of corporate America encourages these assholes.

So looping back to the concept of "professionalism", what exactly does this mean? Well one would hope it would mean something along the lines of having some sort of expertise for solving problems for the client or the company and doing so in a respectful and thoughtful manner. Unfortunately, because of "perception = reality" this is not the case. Instead "professionalism" has been bastardized into... "train yourself to act in an affected manner as if you were an expert" (why bother in actually having the skills or knowledge) and "become an expert in playing politics breathing fire onto those who (even accidentally) have stepped out of line".

This post might sound bitter... I don't mean it to be. In fact the majority of the time people act like people (playing nicely and respecting each other). However, when things get tough, the uglyness does come out... I can't help but think there must be a better way.

Anyway, as always comments are requested and appreciated. Thanks for Reading!

-Jason